I just shared this video on Facebook:
And there's already some internal eye-rolling going on at myself for posting some rambles alongside but my intentions are pure.
Here's wot I sed:
Hai gurlfriends! Just thought I'd share this since I watch millions of these videos and this one is especially interesting and helpful. So I feel compelled to share it with those I enjoy the company of. So you look nice and feel good about yourself and stuff. Not that you don't already. These things are just nice to know.
She also has videos on body shape which are great.
Hope you enjoy, person who is reading this! xx
[Character limit forced me to put the rest as a comment below]
Not to be patronising like "I know ALL and you know NOTHING" but I've been watching makeup/fashion videos/reading magazines etc. for years and find it interesting, have a lot of time on my hands, and am willing to share my INIMITABLE WISDOM with you CRETINOUS PLEBEIANS.
Just kidding, I'll probably just point you to another video but it's the thought that counts. So if anyone has any questions you can ask me.
Really random but I thought I'd proffer my vague knowledge upon.. you. Anyone.
Might be socially unacceptable but hey, I AM socially unacceptable. You can inbox me if you think this is weird and don't want anyone to know you're conversing with a socially-challenged weirdo.
See-eth thou on thy flip side, home boy xx
So that's. That.
I readily assume that if anyone is bothered enough to react to my rambles they'll think me a royal twerp.
Even if there is just one person who is self-conscious about how they look, is in need of such information as is explained in the video or that I am so KINDLY offering... then it is worth sacrificing my good name.
For I clearly am in possession of a good name. One I have no wish to tarnish.
People have a high opinion of me. I have a place in society.
And I think a selection from my collection of 280 welcoming profile pictures prove this firmly.
I can't be bothered to edit my name out of these as a) it's a made-up surname because in my imaginary world I'm married to Lord Chuffnell off of Jeeves and Wooster (purely for the title) and Howard Moon from The Mighty Boosh. (This is another bit of evidence for you of the name I have to uphold on Facebook.) and b) you can add me if you like now I think of it. I update more on there and I love all of yous like proper actual friends (no really! would you believe it!) so if you're up for sharing I am!
I've only got 3 "internet friends" on Facebook at the mo but tell me below if you're down with this, bro!
WANNA SEE MORE EVIDENCE OF MA PRESTIGE?
/examples of my postings then you make your own mind up as to how deserving of esteem they are?
Exhibit a) .. or b) if you're counting that attractive "what I wear to go for walks on the cliffs" photo. Which you probably would. So.. bye. Hi. Here's exhibit b)
Actually maybe I need no more photos to prove to you how utterly classy my friends must think me.
Luckily most of the people I regularly hang out with and so deeply respect seem to enjoy my elegant behaviour.
The perfectionist in me can't stand the bad covering-up of that surname but despite her apparent willingness to associate with The Cordelia, my thoughts are that maybe I should hide her identity. Just in case.
And I should say that that wasn't her reaction to Matt Smith's buttocks. It was re this (just for full disclosure):
So as you can see from just three examples, I'm a pretty big deal. I can't just go about being WEIRD all of a sudden! I need to act normal! For my public!
I know this is a hugely egotistical yet extremely self-conscious post... but then that sort of describes my whole being... and every post I do... so that kind of petered out.
Started well, that post? Arguable.
But it's ended wonderfully.
- Styling Advice? I'm giving it on Facebook now apparently.